Pain & Gain (2013)

Title: Pain and Gain (2013)

Director: Michael Bay

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Ken Jeong, Peter Stormare

Review:

After Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2013) came out, action director extraordinaire Michael Bay said he’d leave the Transformers franchise alone because he wanted to try and make a “smaller budget film” (which in Bay’s world means 25 million dollars) called Pain and Gain; the story of three crazy bodybuilders from Florida who decide to kidnap a millionaire, torture him, make him sign over his fortune to them, then they’d kill him and take over his life. Unfortunately that’s all easier said than done because this millionaire is one tough cookie who just won’t die! Interesting part about this story is that it happened for real! How true to life did the film turn out to be? And is it any good? 

Pain and Gain is a film that garnered some controversy because people (including victims involved in the crime) didn’t like the idea that these criminals were going to be glorified somehow, they didn’t like the idea that audiences were possibly going to sympathize with the criminals; unfortunately, those comments are completely without merit because we don’t side with the criminals in the film. These guys are despicable and we’re not meant to like them. True, they are funny dudes, because Wahlberg, Johnson and Mackie play them that way, and this is after all a black comedy, but even though they make us laugh with the craziness of the situations, we’re not meant to empathize with them, so you can throw those concerns out the window. These characters are not the heroes of the film, they are the villains. Pain and Gainis for all intents and purposes a morality tale. Like a Tales from the Crypt episode, the bad guys always pay in the end; in the end the film shows the age old idea that crime does not pay and that there is no short cut to the American Dream.

Even though this is a departure of sorts for Michael Bay who normally works with movies that cost over 200 million dollars, Pain and Gain is still very much a Michael Bay film. Keeping true to his style, there’s lots of color, there’s lots of cool cars, sunsets, scantily clad hotties, I mean, everything you’ve come to expect from Michael Bay. One thing is missing though: explosions, this is the one Michael Bay where there isn’t an explosion every five minutes, so Mr. Bay, I salute you for stretching your directorial muscles even for a bit. But same as every other Michael Bay movie, characters talk at lightning fast pace, I was going to say “as if they were coked up most of the time” but they are coked up…all the time! The chemistry between Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson and Mackie is awesome; they truly are what keeps us watching the film. Here’s a Michael Bay film that doesn’t keep us interested via visual effects or action, what keeps us watching is the insane situations and the funny dialog, these three muscle bound criminals are so stupid! At one moment while they are planning a murder Wahlberg’s character says “I’ve watched a lot of movies, I know what I’m doing!”

Credit has to be given to Tony Shalhoub, a guy who normally plays quiet, introspective characters, yet on this show he plays against type, the rich, loud butt hole whom everybody hates. I thought it was interesting how he plays “the victim” but at the same time he is a completely despicable guy. Funny thing about Shalhoub’s character is that he was a low life in real life as well! After he helped catch the “the Sun Gym Gang” he himself was also prosecuted for committing fraud and embezzling money, though this part of the story isn’t touched upon in the film. Speaking of changes from life to screen, Of course, there were some changes, primarily with the character played by Dwayne Johnson. In real life, Johnson’s character was a wimpy looking dude, not a body builder at all. But these types of changes are to be expected, directors love to jump at the chance to make their film more dramatic, or more action oriented, bigger, louder, especially in a Michael Bay film. This is why Bay, seeing the opportunity with the always ultra charismatic Dwayne Johnson, turned his character into a 300 pound crank freak. But so what, in the end, this film is a hyperbole, an exaggeration and a very entertaining one. So mission accomplished in my book; I was laughing all the way. And just when you think the story can’t get crazy enough, Dwayne Johnson starts a bbq with human parts, the film freeze frames and a text comes up on screen saying “this story is still based on real life events”. And then it slaps you in the face, crazy people like the ones depicted in Pain and Gain could be your personal trainers at the gym, or your barbers, so think it over before telling anybody your personal affairs, they could be plotting to overtake your empire. 

    

Rating: 4 out of 5

Warm Bodies (2013)

Title: Warm Bodies (2013)

Director: Jonathan Levine

Cast: Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich, Rob Corddry 

Review:

The thing with Warm Bodies is that I initially thought I’d hate it, I went in with my bag of rotting vegetables, ready to throw them at the screen. To me it looked like it was going to be the Twilight of zombie movies and in some ways it is and in some ways it isn’t. What Twilightdid with vampire movies is it softened them up; it turned the monsters into the heroes. It turned blood sucking creatures into beings who sparkle in the moonlight; it made vampires for lack of a better word, ‘cute’.  And Warm Bodies does soften up the zombie film, it’s main character is a walking corpse, but you wouldn’t notice if you saw him from afar, except for the pale skin and a couple of scars. And yes my friends, let’s not forget this is a film about a zombie who falls in love with a human girl! So yeah, zombie movies are getting the Twilight treatment in a way, just compare Warm Bodies main zombie with the Edward Cullen character from Twilight, and you'll see they don't look all that different. Going into the theater I thought, “That’s it for zombie movies!” I don’t want my zombies falling in love; I want them mindless and brain hungry! But whatever, this being a zombie movie and me being a zombie movie nut, I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. Strange thing is I ended up enjoying Warm Bodies!

Warm Bodies tells the story of ‘R’ a zombie who wants to be something more than just a zombie. He wants’ to improve himself, better himself, and maybe even be human someday. Everything starts one day when R is on one of his food runs (i.e. looking for humans to eat) when he stumbles upon a group of rebellious humans who are fighting against the zombie hoards. In the middle of the battle, R notices a young human girl named Julie and its love at first site, and well, R starts to feel, his heart starts beating! Should R follow through with his feelings for Julie? Or are their worlds too different for them to fall in love?

One of the things I dug about Warm Bodies is that it actually delivers a couple of original ideas, number one, the idea that a zombie can go back to being human is one that hadn’t been done before in zombie films, and least not in any that I can remember. And number two that a zombie could fall in love with a human and vice versa. Now in a worn genre like the zombie movie, well, originality is a welcomed thing! The film presented us with one or two original concepts, which proves at least the filmmakers where aiming for something different.

The idea that we can hear a zombie’s interior monologue is a good one, again, I don’t believe I’d ever seen that done before. The idea is that R is conscious of his zombie state, but can do nothing about it. He sees himself act as a zombie, but thinks like a normal human being. Of course, to zombie purists this makes no sense whatsoever because zombies are walking corpses. Rationality, logic or thought normally don’t fit into the equation. But this isn’t your typical zombie movie and in the world of Warm Bodies zombies that think do exist. The idea is that R hasn’t been dead for long and isn’t as far off dead as the ‘Bonies’, which are zombies that are so dead that they literally look like walking skeletons. So I guess the filmmakers behind Warm Bodies bent zombie rules just a bit, as does every movie. All movies create their own universe and rules, in the universe Warm Bodies, zombies can think just fine.

Another good thing that Warm Bodies has going for it is that it’s a socially conscious zombie film, you kind of get the feeling that something like this is what George Romero would be doing nowadays, but of course, less cute. Recently I saw a Quentin Tarantino interview, in which he states that every director has his day, makes great films then their time passes and they get old and no longer make great films; though I still haven’t lost my faith in him, I feel this is exactly what happened to George Romero. To me old age got to him and he lost it. His last one, Survival of the Dead (2009) was a huge disappointment for me. Though not all that bad, it failed to live up to Romero’s post-apocalyptic glory gory days. Warm Bodies reminded me a bit of Romero’s socially conscious zombie films. Warm Bodies portrays modern society as robots, automatons who are growing increasingly disconnected from one another thanks to I-Pads and cell phones.  I really dug how Warm Bodies explores class differences by infusing the film with a bit of Romeo and Juliet into the story. Same as Romero and Juliet, R and Julie come from completely different backgrounds. Julie is one of the human survivors; she lives inside of a walled city that still manages to have some comforts while R lives inside of an abandoned plane, in a zombie filled neighborhood. Yet they come together, because together, they will change everything. There’s even a balcony scene, so if anyone had any doubts about it, yeah this is a zombie version of Romeo and Juliet. By the way, the actress who plays Julie -Teresa Palmer- is a true beauty, I really hope we see more of her on the silver screen, and soon! 

So that’s it for me ladies and gent’s, I say Warm Bodies is a good zombie film. It might get a little too cutesy at times, especially when it comes down to zombies thinking, talking, feeling, and falling in love, but it’s still entertaining and has something to say. A word of warning to zombie fans, there’s not much in the way of blood and guts, though brains are eaten the gory details are left in shadows or out of camera. I also thought that the ‘Bonies’ looked too CGI, they could have pulled those off a little better, I didn’t buy into those things being real at all. But the idea of the film, the concept that a corpse can come back to life through the power of love, is a splendid one. So is the concept that in a world that is constantly trying to dehumanize us, it’s important that we remember how to feel and emote, to communicate and help each other out. I enjoyed how the film emphasizes the importance of every day good deeds, simple things that make this world a more pleasant one to live in. That if we only put more of an effort into actually feeling emotions and interacting with other human beings, then maybe we can change things and make things in this world better, and though these are not the usual concepts we’d expect in a zombie movie, well, I still had a blast with Warm Bodies. Recommended!

Rating: 4 out of 5  

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Title: Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Director: Steve Pink

Cast: John Cusack, Crispin Glover, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, Chevy Chase

Review:

Hot Tub Time Machine has one cool thing going for it: its title. A title like that will attract people even if the movie sucks. Same phenomenon occurred with Snakes on a Plane (2006), a terrible (though fun) film that made some bank and caused a buzz on the net simply because of its strange/catchy title, which has that ability to make people re-think it. People read titles like Hot Tub Time Machine and go: “Wait, what? A hot tub that’s a time machine? That’s got to be funny!” Unfortunately, most of the time, gimmicky titles like that one are made solely for the purpose of catching the eye of the easily impressed passers by and getting his or her butt inside the movie theater. Was this the case with Hot Tub Time Machine?

Hot Tub Time Machine basically takes the premise of Back to the Future and places it in a “guy comedy”. You know, guy comedies are those films where guys rule supreme and the female presence is kept down to a minimum so that guys can do bond and become better people. Most of the time this type of film ends up making guys look like idiots who are just salivating at the opportunity of going ape shit the minute they ditch their wives. These are comedies where girls are contractually obligated to appear topless at various points during the picture. Female characters are always secondary on these films, guys usually end up getting so stoned or hammered that they pass out. And guys say “fuck” a lot. If you want a good example of a guy comedy, then watch The Hangover (2009). Yet another film that Hot Tub Time Machine is trying to imitate. One thing you can be sure when watching Hot Tub Time Machine: originality went down the drain.

How many similarities do we have with Back to the Future and The Hangover? Let me count the ways:

- John Cusack wears a jacket that looks like a life preserver.

- A time machine is used to travel back in time.

- A character meets his parents in the past.

- A character has a bully he must confront.

- Somebody gets on stage to sing a song that has yet to be written, and the audience loves it

- When they return to their own time, things are slightly different.

- Crispin Glover (who plays George McFly in Back to the Future) plays a character

- Like in The Hangover, we have four guys looking to escape their present lives and have a bit of an “guys night out” , drug use and alcohol abuse ensues.

I mean, the similarities are all over the place, you will eventually come to the conclusion just like I did, that the filmmakers simply saw Back to the Future and wanted to make a raunchier, 'funnier' version of it. You could almost hear the producers pitch “Its going to be Back to the Future meets The Hangover! It’ll be a hit!” Sad part is it kind of was a hit, and even some reviewers thought this movie was good. Even Roger Ebert liked it, but I got a feeling it’s just because he worships John Cusack.

The only glimmer of originality in the film is that Chevy Chase plays God, you know, the all knowing, ever present, ominous character that seems to know the answers to everything. Sadly, he is underplayed. Chevy Chase needs a come back role dammit! The other thing I didn’t like about this movie is that its kind of bitter. Now, I don’t mind a bitter film, but I do mind when that film is supposed to be a comedy. On this film, practically none of the characters are likable. Not even freaking John Cusack who is like an 80’s god, and has a masters degree on playing likable characters. On Hot Tub Time Machine he plays his character so one note that you’d be well advised to check Cusack’s pulse, just to make sure the actor in him is still alive. Rob Corddry plays an asshole ever step of the way, the kind of friend that is hard to love. Craig Robinson plays himself once again. But there was one character, played by Clark Duke that I thought was kind of interesting. He is the teenager that represents the younger generation coming up, the wise ass who thinks cheesy movies are bad. Its that kid that watches a movie from the 80s, like for example Howard the Duck (1986) and is always asking questions like “a duck from another dimension? That’s freaking impossible! And stupid!” So this character goes around the whole movie pointing out the cheesy aspects of the film, as if telling the younger generation “I know, this is freaking stupid, but remember: we’re trying to be a movie from the 80’s!”

Somebody give Chevy Chase his comeback already!

Did this movie achieve its purpose? Well, it is a raunchier more vulgar version of Back to the Future. My problem with it was that the 80’s thing should have been exploited a bit further. Capturing that vibe from the 80’s should've involved more than just having your characters wear Iron Maiden t-shirts. It involves more than having a song from the 80’s play every five minutes. I think they could have worked harder to make the 80’s feel more 80’s, they should have worked harder to capture the soul of th era, but it seems to me this movie was simply made to make a quick buck, not to make a good comedy that would stand the test of time. As it is, only one scene really truly stands out as 80's, where the guys walk into this cabin, and everything is suddenly super 80s! People using cassette players, people don’t know what a cellphone or being on line is and practically everybody in the room wears neon colors. Unfortunately, after that brief sequence, the rest of the film didn’t feel that 80’s to me. I know the 80’s wasn’t a decade known for its ‘soul’, but the soul of the 80’s is what this movie failed to capture.

Another negative thing about the movie is the way it was edited. It feels too choppy. By that I mean that the movie goes from one scene to the next without smooth transitions, things are to be taken for granted that they happened, and as a result, you feel like you are watching a movie skipping chapters. As if you were watching the movie on fast forward. I think the film does this because it is such a by the numbers film. Since this movie takes so much from other films, we as an audience already know what’s coming down the road and the filmmakers know that. So they figure they’ll cut the bull and put the story on fast forward, because they know you already saw Back to the Future. They know you know the rules for this kind of film. It's so sad that this kind of movie exists actually, a movie that relies on the fact that you know how its going to be played out. So, no surprises here, this my friends is a film made without any passion.

In conclusion, Hot Tub Time Machine is an extremely forgettable movie in my book. I saw it and have no desire of re-watching it. I took nothing with me from watching even though it was trying to talk about facing your fears or something. The characters are extremely bitter, they hate their lives and as a result, we hate it with them. And take it from me, I’m a child of the 80’s I lived and breathed the 80’s when I was a kid, so I know what Im talking about when I say this movie didn’t really feel like the 80’s. I was looking to re-live that era a bit, or at the very least, make some fun of it. Unfortunately, we still need a movie that truly captures what it was like to live in that decade.

Rating: 2 out of 5