Dead Heat (1988)

Title: Dead Heat (1988)

Director: Mark Goldblatt

Cast: Treat Williams, Joe Piscopo, Vincent Price

Review:

For me, Dead Heat was one of those movies I saw as a kid during a late midnight showing on cable and never saw again for the rest of my life. Recently I’ve started getting extremely nostalgic about things I loved during my childhood and I want to reconnect with all those obscure movies that amused me as a kid. This was one of those movies.

Story goes something like this: zombie criminals are popping up all over L.A! That’s right! Zombie criminals! Unstoppable and un-killable machines of mayhem. And it’s up to two buddy cops Roger Mortis and Doug Bigelow to stop them! But how the hell do you stop walking dead criminals? And who’s putting them out there? And more importantly how the hell are they reviving the dead?

There’s a couple of good things going on for this movie, and a couple of bad ones. First up, it’s a cheese fest. This movie is a prime example of just how insane movies in the 80s where. They’d really go out there with their plots and storyline, and gotta tell you, I kind of miss that bravado to do such a zany movie as this one. This movie was written by Shane Blacks brother, Terry Black. For those of you not in the know, Shane Black wrote the Lethal Weapon movies and most recently wrote and directed Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. But it was his brother Terry Black who wrote this zany crazy twist on the buddy cop formula. What’s so zany about it you may ask? Well just imagine what a Lethal Weapon movie would be if it had zombies in it! And just imagine if Mel Gibson suddenly turned into a zombie and had to fight the bad guys as a zombie! Well in this movie we have Treat Williams in the role of the tough guy goody cop. He gets his nose just a little to close to the bad guys operation so what do they do? They kill him! And what does his buddy Joe Piscopo do? He uses the bad guys resurrection machine to bring him back! That’s where the movie gets interesting. We now have a zombie cop in our movie!

Roger Mortis may be dead, but his still every bit of a cop he was when he was alive and now he has to fight the clock to stay alive! He only has 12 hours before his body completely decomposes and turns to dust! So the movie turns into a race against the clock to try and solve the mystery of the zombie criminals before he turns into a walking bag of bones. In the mean while, as we figure things out, we get Joe Piscopo spewing one liners like there’s no tomorrow. It’s kind of funny to see him trying to do the party loving smart mouth cop. Counting how many one liners he throws out you through out the course of the film will make for a great drinking game!

This movie has some decent make up effects work. Make up effects guru Steve Johnson supplies us with some really good visual gags that still look cool to this day. Bodies decomposing, melting, rotting, we get some really good looking zombies, we get mutants, you name it we get it on this movie. One particular scene really stands out and it goes into Big Trouble in Little China territory if you ask me (and that aint a bad thing!) when Roger Mortis and his pal Doug head over to china town to investigate this resurrection machine hoopla. What they encounter is an old Chinese fellow who has a restaurant…and a resurrection machine of his own! When Roger and Doug snoop around a little too close for comfort the old man turns on his resurrection machine! And that’s when all the dead animals that are lying around in the restaurants meat locker and kitchen come to life! Pretty soon Roger and Doug find themselves fighting dead ducks! Livers! dead fish…and a giant side of beef! Its one of the craziest things you’re ever going to see on any movie, ever! This scene alone is worth the price of admission.

On the down side, while watching this movie you kind of get the feeling your watching an episode of TJ Hooker or something. In other words, you feel like your watching a tv cop show from the 80s, but with cool zombie make up effects. The dialog and the script can get really bad sometimes, but I guess you can have some fun with that, its part of this movies charm. But if your willing to accept the fact that this is a cheesy b-movie, I don’t think you’ll mind much cause you’ll probably be having too much fun with the zombie gags, and with Piscopo’s one liners. Its also cool to see how Treat Williams slowly decomposes and turns through out the course of the movie more and more into a zombie! And its even cooler to see how he uses this to his advantages. You see, he doesn’t care about dying, so he can really go all out in trying to stop the bad guys. As an added bonus, Vincent Price makes an appearance in the movie. He doesn’t have much screen time, but he does play an important character. Anyhows, no matter how you look at it, this movie is a fun ride. I recommend it to zombie fans, and lovers of the Lethal Weapon series of films. This movie works as a parody of those films. Also to people who can withstand high levels of cheese.

Rating: 3 out of 5

#1 Sign that you are in an 80s cop movie: Mullets and Guns!

The Dead Pit (1989)

Title: The Dead Pit (1989)

Director: Brett Leonard

Review:

Most first time directors begin their careers with a zombie film. Why? I don’t know, I guess it’s a cheap way to make a first feature film. And lets face it,  if you do things the right way,  you will more then likely make your money back cause cheap yet entertaining zombie movies always make their money back. Just ask George Romero, Zack Snyder or Dan O Bannon all of who started their directing careers with zombie movies. You can add director Brett Leonard to that list.

Story is about this demented doctor called Dr. Ramzi who enjoys experimenting with his mental patients. He likes to open up their brains and play around with them. Then, when they die, he throws them into this pit he has. Why does he have a dungeon with a supernatural pit in the basement of the psychiatric ward he works in? I don’t know, but just go with the flow here, this movie is filled with nonsensical bullshit like this! The crazy doctor is soon discovered by a colleague of his and is shot in the head and thrown into his own pit (read: express way to hell). He is locked away in the basement of the psychiatric ward where he conducted his twisted experiments. Apparently, that’s where the horror ended. Every dead body sealed and forgotten forever. Now, many years later an earthquake has unleashed his madness once again and he is looking to wreck havoc and exact his revenge upon those who shunned him.

So begins this movie. And it showed promise too! The first few minutes of this movie reminded me immediately of  Stuart Gordons Re-animator. You know, the kind of movie that opens with a bang and has this bombastic opening sequence that sets us up for what’s to unfold during the rest of the movie. Unfortunately, this movie kind of disappointed me. I was looking forward to it because I’ve enjoyed some of Brett Leonard’s other films. Lawnmower Man isn’t perfect, its CGI effects might look dated by todays standards but it isn’t completely unwatchable either. I considered Virtuosity a one up on the whole Lawnmower Man concept. I haven’t seen Man Thing, but I don’t hear good things about it. Haven’t seen Feed either. But hey at least his keeping himself busy directing the last Highlander movie Highlander: The Source. Unfortunately, that latest venture into the real of the immortals is one of the worst in the whole series. As you can see, Leonard’s list of achievements isn’t all that great. His unimpressive status still remains that way as far as I’m concerned. But what about The Dead Pit, his first feature film?

The Dead Pit was one of those straight to video movies with a cool cover art. The box had this cool aspect to it, it had a zombie on the cover coming out of some pit, and when you pressed the box in the appropriate place, the zombies eyes lit up with red lights! Great idea to get you to notice the box at the store! Did it do justice to the movie? Well yeah, there are zombies, they do come out of a pit, and one of them has his eyes light up red. But was the movie any good? Not really. Main problem for me was that the script had way too many plot holes. First off, we have a cool villain in the form of the crazy doc who likes to perform weird experiments on his mental patients. But why does he perform said experiments? Who the hell knows! He simply states that he does them because he is now “interested in death”. What?!! That’s it? Usually a doctor/scientist will have some scientific reason for his research. Like Dr. Herbert West in the Re-Animator films who conducted his experiments to try and discover the secret to immortality. But the crazy doctor from The Dead Pit? What’s he interested in discovering? Who the hell knows!! As far as I could tell, he was simply interested in opening up people and twisting their brains around with acupuncture needles! Sorry but that’s all I could get from watching this movie.

The villain is too underdeveloped. I mean, he is an interesting visual. He looks like a zombie doctor, who walks around with this needle like thing that he inserts into your eye socket. He looks evil as hell because his eyes light up red, and he looks all demonic and all, plus his got a bullet hole in his forehead and long ass demonic looking finger nails which adds to the crazy visual, but the character itself is shrouded in mystery. And not the kind of mystery that is left unsaid so it could be further developed in future movies, but underdeveloped in the sense that it had a very lazy screenplay which didn’t give us a hint into this evil characters psyche or who he was. For no reason at all, the doctor can and does resurrect the dead. No explanation is given. He can just, right out of the blue bring back people from the dead. So now you can add supernatural powers to this crazy doctors abilities.

But the problems don’t stop there. Why are zombies walking the streets for him? What is his interest in doing this? I don’t know!! But o.k., lets put the villain aside for a second. We also have the story of Jane Doe, a girl who is found wandering the streets not being able to remember who she is or anything about her past. Problem for me with this part of the movie is that it was so cheesy! The psychiatric ward she was in was not believable at all, more then anything, it was a cartoony place where we get the cliché-ish evil orderly/nurse and even worse, I thought it was hilarious that the patients in this psycho ward can walk in and out of their rooms without any kind of supervision. So we have various scenes of Jane Doe walking around the ward without anybody in the facility giving a flying fuck. Isn’t this supposed to be a place for wackos? And they are allowed to just roam free through the hallways and come out of their rooms as they please? Even funnier is the fact that Jane Doe is a major hottie! And funnier still is the fact that she walks around said ward in her ultra sexy undies. I don’t mind seeing a hot chick in a horror movie, but It just felt so forced, they simply let her walk around in her undies so we (the drooling males who are most likely to see this kind of film) could check her out. And what a fine body it is! Its one of the assets of the film, there’s one gratuitous nudity sequence in which a nurse hoses down Jane Doe and the pressure of the water is so great that it rips of Jane Does shirt and we see her glorious boobies! Holy testicle Tuesday! Great scene, but so unnecessary and obviously placed there for drooling teens and fan boys such as myself. *snicker* This is one of those movies in which the leading lady walks around naked for most of the film, so at least you have that.

Anyhows, not all is bad in Deadville. This movie was a bit boring for its first half which basically consists of the character Jane Doe having these nightmares, and though I love nightmare sequences as much as the next guy, gotta admit they felt a bit redundant. You know? First we get a nightmare sequence, then a little talk with the shrink, then nightmare sequence again…then another talk with the shrink and so on it went. To be honest, it was kind of obvious the filmmakers were very much influenced by A Nightmare on Elm Street, with the evil crazy doctor playing the Freddy Kruger role. The evil entity that visits you in your nightmares! But, finally things get interesting when the dead come out of the pit and start stalking the residents of the psycho ward. So finally, the film turns into a zombie film! But why are the zombies here? And why are they killing? And why have they been resurrected and why? Why? Why? Lots of shit happens, but, unfortunately not a whole lot of it has any reason.

Good thing this movie has going for it is we get some cool zombies and make up effects. The zombies rip open peoples skulls and rip out their brains and eat em! We get a couple of melting zombies. The one major gore sequence that is truly memorable is these sequence in which the Evil Doctor opens up a guys skull and starts doing acupuncture on his brain! And you get to see how the guy reacts to the different stimulations being done to his brain with the needles, so sometimes he laughs, sometimes he cries...really strange sequence, and its the one that I truly liked. Seriously! Can’t say you see that everyday now can ‘ya? Still, this film functions as a funny venture into 80s cheesy straight to video low budget horror films. Its got that sleazy feel to it, you know, lots of gratuitous nudity, a memorable looking villain, nonsensical violence…cheap looking sets, cheap looking everything. But one that’s cool to make fun off as you watch. Nothing more.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Lucio Fulci's A Cat in the Brain (a.k.a. Nightmare Concert) (1990)

Title: A Cat in the Brain (1990)

Director: Lucio Fulci

Comments:

I guess horror directors tend to worry a lot about how people perceive them. Many of them might be worried that people think they are demented psychos looking to bring their gory images to life. When in reality most of the time, horror directors are just mild mannered, educated, well versed human beings. I guess this film was Lucio Fulcis way of saying "I aint a criminal or a killer, Im just a regular guy who lives making horror films!"

Story goes something like this: Lucio Fulci (playing himself) is trying to direct his latest horror film. He is having trouble doing it because every where he looks and everything he does reminds him of some gory horror moment from one of his films. So he is constantly tormented by visions of gory mayhem. He will be doing some every day chore and whamo! some gory death will pop into his brain. He goes looking for psychiatric help, to see if he can calm down these horrific nightmares. Will Fulci start killing people just like his characters do in his movies?

While some people say that this is Fulcis 8 1/2, I really wouldnt go that far. Maybe in premise and themes, but obviously not in an artistic level, not in a quality level and certainly not in its acting and writing. This is after all, not Fulcis best film. This was really Fulci directing a film during his last days on this earth, literally. Id say its a low budget gory version of  8 1/2. A Cat in the Brain does have some elements you would find in a  Federico Fellini film, but ultimately, they are nothing alike. For example, Fellini had a fascination with women. His adoration for beautiful women was evident in all of his films. In 8 1/2 he has a whole sequence in which he mentally revisits all the women that have ever been a part of his life, and in the end decides to stay with his wife, and deletes all these women from his mind. Fellinis love for women was also evident with the extremely beautiful actresses he always chose for his films, Anita Eckberg being one of the first to pop to my mind, but she wasnt alone, there were many other extremely beautiful women in Fellinis films. Fulci does the samething, but he does his own sleazy version of it. While Fellini never showed any female nudity (that I can recall) he simply admired women from an aesthetic and psychological angle, Fulci goes into a more sexual potrayal of women. By this I mean, he has a lot of nudity in this film! Not only that, he has the movie end with him accompanied by a beautiful woman going on a boat ride with him in the sunset! Comparing Fulci with Fellini because of this film, just isnt right. They are two very different directors.

Still, its interesting to see Fulci doing such a personal film. And even more interesting to see him playing himself in this movie. The horror director trying to deal with the gore and violence that he sees everyday on his films. Apparently, after a while, making these kinds of movies can get to you and this is Fulcis way of saying "this shit aint easy on a day to day basis!" A Cat in the Brain is similar to Clive Barkers Nightbreed because of its premise. Fulci goes to his shrink to get some help from him, to see if his shrink can help him deal with the nightmarish images that keep popping up into his brain, but same as Nightbreed (spoilers ahead) its the shrink who decides to do the killing! (end of Spoilers) Now this is a more reasonable comparison then the Fellini one. I agree Barker and Fulci would defenetly play in the same ballpark. Both Fulci and Barker love extreme gore and shock.

Unfortunately, inspite of the movie having an interesting premise (that of Fulci going slightly coo-koo from making so many gory horror movies) the movie kind of falls flat after a while because it becomes redundant. Okay, I get this idea that Fulci is having gory images flashed into his brain from time to time, and that its driving him nuts. But unfortunately the film goes on and on in a loop showing Fulci doing everyday normal things, and then showing a gory death. Fulci might be chopping up some tomatoes, and suddenly he'll think his chopping off someones head, things like that. But the movie goes on and on this way, without really getting any plot line going or anything. His shrink keeps following around, but even this side story is resolved very quickly and in a very unsatasfying manner. So the movie kind of becomes monotonous after a while.

I mean, dont get me wrong, the gory scenes are awesome, and fun to watch. And they are very extreme. One of the death sequences in the film has a girl being stabbed to death in a shower, which was sort of the gory graphic version of Hitchcocks shower scene. Psycho's shower scene is very effective, but it isnt graphic in nature at all! So this was Fulci saying, heres my version of it! I understand this film has moments where it shows its influenced by Hitchcocks films, but saying that Fulci has perfected suspense film with A Cat in the Brain was an overstatement.

The deaths are plenty, and they are graphic, gore fans should be pleased with this one.  Some of the deaths are really deaths from other films with Fulcis wrap around story in between. Some of the goriest moments come from other directors horror films. These are Italian horror film directors that Fulci apparently endorses, so he decided to include clips from their movies in his. The clips included in the film come from the following films:

The Ghosts of Sodom (1988) (directed by Lucio Fulci)

Dont be Afraid of Aunt Martha (1988) (directed by Mario Bianchi)

Touch of Death (1988) (directed by Lucio Fulci this one is on dvd!)

Bloody Psycho (1989) (directed by Leandro Luchetti)

Escape from Death (1989) (directed by Enzo Millioni)

Massacre (1989) (directed by Andrea Bianchi)

Hansel and Gretel (1989) (directed by Giovanni Simonelli)

All in all, not a very deep film. Though its a personal film and Fulci analizes himself and how his films affect his psyche, the film didn really make the best of its premise and became redundant and dull story wise. Gore wise you'll have a good time, but story wise you' ll be wanting a bit more meat.

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5

Zombieland (2009)

Title: Zombieland (2009)

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Comments:

So anyone out there who personally knows me, knows how much of a zombie head I am. Im actually working on my second zombie/comedy film called Cannabis Cannibal Exodus! So naturally when I heard about this new zombie movie that was in the works and that it took place inside of an amusement park, I was instantly pulled towards it. A tractor beam pulled me towards the theater, I was powerless. Did Zombieland blow me away and become a memorable zombie flick, demonstrating that the zombie film is far from dead? The answer to that question is a very resounding yes! Zombieland was a welcome addition to the zombie genre!

Story goes something like this: zombies have overtaken the world. Humans are almost extinct. Theres only a few humans scattered around the world, this zombie filled world where humanity has almost entirely dissapeared is all we get. Which is great cause it gives the film that extra feeling of dread. That extra edge. Four strangers band together to try and survive in this cruel post apocalyptic world.

Let me put it in simple words, this movie was awesome! It rocked the house! It proves zombie films are NOT dead, but alive and kicking and thirsting for more human blood! So where do I begin? First off, who the fuck is this Ruben Fleischer guy? The director of this zombie opus? I was incredibly impressed with the direction on this film. Its Fleischers directorial debut, but wow, what a way to start! From the opening sequence alone you get the feeling that this movie is going to be something special. Its all in slow motion, with zombies going after their victims. It was extremely entertaining. It shows the ferociousness of the zombies in this film. What I loved the most was the special moments in that opening montage, for example, the blood splattering on the screen in slow motion, naked zombie strippers with their tits bouncing on screen in slow motion as the run for some poor helpless dude, and best of all? Its all done to the beat of Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls! Its your basic opening sequence which establishes that the world has been overrun by zombies. It's a bit obvious that it was more then a little bit influenced by Zack Snyders Dawn of the Dead (2004) but who the hell cares, it was fun as hell! Loved the opening sequence!

We also get great characters to follow around. Since usually there are not many human beings in a post apocalyptic zombie movie, it always helps if your main characters are fleshed out and likable. This movie achieved this to perfection. Woody Harrelson was such a bonus on this movie! He is the quintesential kick ass dude. You know, kind of like Ash from the Evil Dead movies or Snake Plissken in Carpenters Escape from New York. The dude you dont wanna mess with. He goes by the name of Tallahassee. He has all the necessary things to make him a kick ass dude: snake skin jacket, guns, cool hat, attitude and bankable catch phrase. In this case, the catch phrase is "Nut up or Shut Up!" which he repeats quite a few times through out the film. Aside from that we get Jesse Eisenberg playing the straight guy to Harrelson's Tallahasse. He plays your basic nerdy, anti-social, video game playing guy who hasnt got a clue how to deal with girls. He has these rules he is living by which have allowed him to survive the zombie holocaust. The rules appear on screen every time he puts them to use which was a funny touch. The hot babe in the film is Emma Stone whom some of you might remember from Superbad or The Rocker. I liked her character because she goes against the usual helpless damsel in distress. Actually, in this movie you might start up hating her character cause she's so weary of giving others her trust, she hides behind this mean persona. Then theres Abigail Breslin, yeah, Little Miss Sunshine herself killing zombies left and right. In todays self righteous world, some might find it wrong or offensive to show a 12 year old shooting guns, but fuck it, its the end of the world, its the apocalypse, I say give the girl her gun! So, we have an excellent cast to back up this zombie epic.

What about the zombies and the gore? Well, the zombies portrayed in Zombieland are very 28 Days Later/Dawn of the Dead ('04) like. They are the viscious, fast paced, jerky, running type of zombies, which makes them all the scarier, all the more menacing. The make up effects was excellent top of the line stuff. The gore was fantastic as well. I loved the fact that this film didnt pussy out in the gore department. Thank the movie gods that this film is rated R cause we get gore and we get lots of it. We get violence, and its viscious violence! One scene has Tallahassee kicking the shit out of a fat zombie with a bat! To my amazement, they didnt cut not once, you actually see the bat repeatedly hitting the zombie on the head and the blood splattering about...freaking cool! I was like, damn, this movie has some balls! So gore fans should be plenty pleased.

This movie does what all good zombie movies do: make the film about the humans. This movie has zombies, and action and gore, but at its core its about four humans looking for warmth and family in the middle of all the craziness. Same reason why I loved 28 Days Later so much. My favorite moments in 28 Days Later are those in which the four survivors are just hanging out, laughing, falling in love, giving each other love in the middle of the madness, which is what happens in this film at certain point when they decide to hide inside of a Beverly Hills Mansion. Which reminds me, this movie holds a very special surprise in store. A friend of mine told me "wait till you see who shows up in the film!" and I was like "Bruce Campbell?" and he said "better!" and I was like "better then Bruce Campbell? Robert Deniro?" turns out my friend was right, the surprise in this film was awesome. A great choice. Not gonna spoil it. Just watch it for yourself.

One thing I thought was strange about the film was that it waits to get to the amusement park all the way down on its third half. I was thinking most of the film was going to take place inside of the amusement park and that this was going to be Dawn of the Dead but instead the humans hiding inside of a mall, they were going to hide inside of an Amusement Park. Turns out I was wrong. They only arrive at the amusement park during the films last act, which was fine with me since I was having so much fun with the rest of the film. I didnt really care, I was having so much fun out of the amusement park. Though I will say this: once they finally reach the amusement park, theres lots of cool amusement park gags in store! Including one demonic looking zombie clown which rocked the house! So all in all, Zombieland was a very satasfying zombie flick. It was a great comedy, it was an over all great film. I really cant think of anything bad to say about. So take that for what its worth! If you want to see one good horror comedy this halloween, make it Zombieland, its a rocking good time.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)

Title: Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)

Director: Benjamin Christensen

Comments:

So this film is about witchcraft during the medieval ages. Its based on the Malleus Malleficarum, which is basically a book handed out to inquisitors during the infamous Great Inquisition. You know the one where anyone who didnt like what the Catholic Church was preaching was burned at the stake, or worse. Often times non-believers, people with deformeties or people with mental problems were accused of being warlocks or witches. If they didnt confess their 'sins' and their devil worshipping, and accept god as their savior again, they'd get tortured until they did, or die in the process.

The Malleus Malleficarum is an interesting book. I cannot believe the catholic church would hand these things out to their Inquisitor Drones, but they did. In essence, this vile and evil book would go into detail as to how you could identify a witch, how you could accuse them of it, how the legal process would be and finally how you could torture them to squeeze "confessions" out of them. What would happend during thes witch trials was, they would torture these people until the person would finally say "yes! yes! Its all true! I was in cahoots with Satan! I repent! I love God now! Im sorry!" Of course, if you had a red hot poker about to be inserted up your ass you would say whatever the hell they wanted. Even if it werent true. But what happened with those poor souls who decided to keep their dignity? What about those who would remain true to themselves even in the face of death and torture? Well, those who didnt bend under the will of the Catholic Church's torture devices (and there were many of those!) would die in gruesome ways. You should see some of the ways these people were tortured during the Inquisition, horrid horrid things were done. And this happend, this aint no fantasy tale.

Sorry if I go in a rant about this right smack in the middle of my review of this film, but I consider this a great evil that occured and I feel a need to comment on it. To me all of this came as a result of The Church being scared of non-believers emerging through the masses. As a way to scare everyone into submission. To make them do what the church says...or else! Also, it seems Misogyny (the hatred of women) was rampant during the those days as well. Women were seen as inferior, as something less then man. Not worthy of having their own opinion. And Im willing to bet a lot of these "witches" that were burned at the stake werent witches at all, but women who had the daring to go up against all the hate. To stand up against the opression. It all stems from the church's fear of women taking over the world! Its so ridiculous to think this actually happened. Why cant we all just live happily on this earth? Both men and women? It seems that the Catholic Church had other plans for women. Thankfully, those plans fell through and today women are respected and applauded more then ever. But back in those days, it was different! I mean, you can even go as far back as the bible itself, you'll see just how low women are potrayed all the time. They are usually portrayed as the problem starters, the whores. Men where the leader of the people, the saviors of the world. Gods. Hell, it was Eve, the first woman, who gave the apple to Adam. Accoreding to the bible the original "sin" was started by a woman listening to the devil! Which has a lot in common with the witch trials, in the Malleus Malleficarum, it is said that women were more inclined to being witches because their lust was uncontrollable! Which is something that is portrayed in this film Im reviewing today.

The film basically takes all these witch fantasies and stories and plays them out. You see, when these women where being tortured into submission, they would say these tall tales about meeting Satan, and all these rituals they supposedly did, black masses and all that. They would say this so that the priests inquisitors would stop torturing them. And the priests wrote every single one of these wild stories on the Malleus Malleficarum. Benjamin Christensen took these stories and acted them out on the film with often brilliant results. Im thinking he decided to bring these images to life simply to show how silly and unrealistic they are! Theres this whole sequence where witches are gathered around a campfire with the devil and they have to literally kiss his asshole! Giant animal like creatures guarding the entrances of gatherings! The devil calling out women to have sex with them in the middle of the night. Things like that. I gotta say, all these fantasies make for truly awesome visuals! Benjamin Christensen, the films director plays Satan himself! The make up work was astoundingly good for the time this film was made! I was amazed at how cool Satan looked in this movie, almost rivaling in coolness with Tim Currys Darkness in Ridley Scotts Legend.

The movie has an element of schock to it. The stories that appear in the Malleus Malleficarum are really out there and even include child sacrafices! Some of the most schoking moments from the film come during these sequences where we see a bunch of demons holding a little baby as he bleeds and they drink his blood and then throw its dead body in a cauldron to cook him and eat him! Im sure that mustve shocked audiences back in 1922 cause it shocked the hell out of me when I saw it. Theres moments with nuns in a monastery going bat shit insane when they get possesed by demons. So be ready for some schoking images. The black and white, grainy element adds to the spookiness. Keep in mind, this is a silent film, dont expect a regular film with dialog. This was made during the silent days of film, I personally love these silent films because they relly so much on mannerisms and transmitting ideas through images rather then words. I now hold Haxan in as high regard as I hold F. W. Murnaus Faust and Fritz Langs Metropolis. You know, top of the line silent films with excellent art direction and visuals.

You can watch two versions of the film in the Criterion disc. One version is the 1922 one which lasts 104 minutes which is really the most complete version of the movie that exists. And then theres the other version which was released in 1968. This version featured an eclectic jazz score by Daniel Humair (played by a quintet including Jean Luc Ponty on violin and Daniel Humair on percussion) and dramatic narration by William S. Burroughs. This is the version that Ive been reviewing, and honestly, its the one I liked the most. Its the most concise one of all. Plus that jazzy soundtrack adds to trippy vibe the visuals have.

This is daring film because of the power of its images and the audacity of what its saying. Its shinning a light on one of the greatest evils that ever happend on our planet. And it was done by the ever growing Catholic Church, which probably doesnt want you to see this type of film, cause it shows their true colors. Whats most interesting about this film is that a lot of cuts were made by the studios in order for the film to be released. People couldnt take the truth of it all, some of its most shocking images were edited out. Christensen received a lot of opposition during the making and distribution of this film, for showing things the way they really happened, which is sad. Many religious individuals didnt want this film to get out because it lets us see that religion can be mean, it can be almost as evil as any dictatorship. If you dont think or do what they want, they can get pretty violent! Anyhows, thanks to the wonder of dvd and modern technology we can now enjoy this amazing film in all its shocking glory. Highly recommend it.

Rating: 5 out of 5

Night of the Demon (1957) a.k.a. Curse of the Demon

Title: Night of the Demon (1957) a.k.a. Curse of the Demon

Director: Jacques Tourneur

Review:

Heard in an interview done to Sam Raimi that he was paying homage to Jacques Tourneur's Night of the Demon when he decided to direct and write Drag Me To Hell. I personally didn’t think so much of  Drag Me to Hell. I mean, I thought it was a fun ride, but very repetitive (in the sense that you see many gags you’ve already seen in previous Raimi films) and it didn’t have enough gravitas (what I really mean to say is, it had no balls! There.) When compared to Raimi’s other horror films (I speak of the Evil Dead trilogy of course) Drag Me to Hell just didn’t measure up. Even Army of Darkness, which was a goofy, cartoony and comic bookish, roller coaster ride of a movie, had more intensity then this new Raimi film. I guess Raimi just isn’t the same old Raimi after having done all these big budget spectacles for Hollywood. I understand that Drag Me to Hell is a PG-13 movie, and yes it’s a commercial film, and it’s a Hollywood production, so I’m guessing this is what hurt the movie and didn’t allow it to have the edge I was expecting. But that’s just me so don’t take it personal, I know must of you horror loving dudes and dudettes out there thought Drag Me To Hell was the greatest thing since sliced undead head. But to each his own. Anyhow, when I heard Raimi was inspired by Night of the Demon, I immediately decided to see what this British film was all about.

The basic premise consists of a devil worshipping cult that’s being investigated. A paranormal psychologist who goes by the name of Dr. John Holden is visiting London to give a lecture on hypnotism. When he gets there, he is informed that his friend and colleague Prof. Henry Harrington has died in a tragic car accident. But there’s something suspicious about the accident. You see, it was supposed to be a car accident, yet his body was horribly maimed as if some wild animal had attacked him. Some people who know about the devil worshipping cult suspect that maybe it was a demon that was conjured up to kill him. What really happened? Dr. John Holden (who by the way is an incorrigible skeptic) is about to get to the bottom of things.

I loved this movie. It has many good things going for it. First of all, it’s got a decent script. It’s actually quite good for the time it was written. Where some of the movies from this era tend to get a bit silly and cheesy (specially the horror and science fiction ones) this one actually had some credible dialog within its fantasy premise. Also, it has loads of atmosphere to it. Lots of wind blowing through the trees, lots of leaves on the streets, lots of stormy skies. I love movies that have that spooky atmosphere all through out, and this one was one of them.

What I liked the most about it though was the villain, Julian Karswel, the leader of the devil worshipping cult. He was awesome! I mean, here is this cool as hell guy, he lives with his mom in a mansion. He is nice to the kids doing magic tricks, throwing a Halloween party for them, he is well mannered and educated, but when you get right down to it, he is the leader of the devil worshippers! He plays it cool, but when he has to his evil side emerges. Great villain, he wasn’t clicheish at all. Love that about this character. Also, I enjoyed the fact that magic and the black arts are very much real! In real life, magic doesn’t exist. Giant fire breathing demons aren’t real. But in this movie demons are real alright. There’s one awesome scene in which Karswel summons a wind storm just to prove his magic is real. Great scene! Also I enjoyed very much how Mr. Karswel had a counterpoint in the form of Dr. John Holden. One character is all for magic and the black arts, the other is skeptical and doesn’t believe anything supernatural is real. So it’s a battle between a religious person vs. the skeptic. The believer vs. the non believer.

Now, when compared to Sam Raimi’s Drag me to Hell, there are lots of similarities. There’s the spooky mansion, just like in Drag me to Hell. There is a clairvoyant, a medium, who contacts the spirits to try and look for a solution to the problem. There’s a big séance sequence, only its nowhere near as flashy as the one we see in Raimi’s film, yet I thought it was still quite effective. And there’s a story device which Raimi swiped right off from this movie which is the thing with the coin. (Mild Spoilers Ahead) If you’ve seen Drag Me to Hell, you know there is this situation where the old Gipsy woman curses Alison Lohan’s button, and whoever has the button is the person who will be tormented by the demon. So at certain point in the movie, its all about who are you going to give this button to so the demon wont come for you. That same situation is played here only with a parchment written in ancient runes. Whoever holds the piece of paper with the runic symbols will get attacked by the demon. So those are the similarities between Raimis film and this one.

And speaking of the demon, we only truly see him twice. At the beginning of the film and at the ending of the film (in similar fashion to Raimi’s movie as well) and I would say that for the time this film was made (1957) the special effects were very well achieved. The demon is of gigantic proportions, and is constantly emanating smoke and brimstone. I liked the way the effect looked, with the demon walking through the woods. Of course, when compared to todays effects, it’s very low key. But for the time it was made it achieved its purpose very well. When we see the demon in close up, it looks cartoonish and kind of like something you’d see in a Godzilla movie. But still cool to watch and very well achieved.

So if you ask me, this movie is very satisfying. It’s got that old school feel to it. Lots of atmosphere and an intriguing story which comes from a well written script. Recommend it to anyone out there interested in seeing where Drag Me to Hell came from, or simply for those of you who enjoy old school black and white horror.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Beyond the Door (1972)

Title: Beyond the Door (aka The Devil Within Her) (1972)

Director: Ovidio G Asonitis

Comments:

Italian Horror at one time was all about knock offs. By that I mean, they made cheaper, sleazier versions of American films. This happened with Jaws for example. The Italian version was known as Great White but it was the same basic premise. A giant shark terrorizing the shores. Even the poster was similar! So much so that Universal Studios sued the guys who made Great White for copyright infringement. Same thing happened with the film Ill be reviewing today, Beyond the Door. This film is so similar to Warner Brothers The Exorcist, that WB sued the asses of the makers of  Beyond the Door. They didn’t win because the court decided that WB had no copyrights over a certain moment in a film. As a consequence of WB loosing this lawsuit, a lot of cheap knock offs of The Exorcist emerged. But this was the first one.

Story is about this lady who becomes pregnant, but she's not just pregnant with any old baby. Her child is destined to be the child of Satan himself! In other words, shes expecting the antichrist! At the same time, her other to children start behaving like little devils themselves, doing all sorts of mischevious things, might make you wonder if they are not little antichrists themselves. But no, the one and only antichrist is the one thats on its way. Soon after she realizes that theres something weird about the baby shes carrying (she floats on top of her bed at night and sleep walks a lot) she tries to get the help of a priest, who has been tempted by the devil himself. Soon, she becomes possessed by the devil himself! Can she come out victorious from this? Or will she give birth to the devil child?

This movie was okay. I mean I can’t honestly bring myself to give it a great rating because it’s very boring at times. Characters talk the lamest bullshit just to fill the screen time with something and I honestly just hate it when that happens in a movie. And it happens a lot on this one! In accordance with Italian Horror Movie Rule #1, the dubbing is awful! So much sometimes that I couldn’t even understand what the hell they were saying. I had to guess what they were talking about by the one or two words that I did manage to understand. In accordance with Italian Horror Movie Rule #2 there are a lot of nonsensical moments on this film! Things that have no meaning or purpose whatsoever! At one point, the woman’s husband is walking aimlessly through the city and suddenly, this band of musicians’ walks up to him and starts playing their instruments as they walk with him, to piss him off or something. I didn’t get that! Why was that scene there? Who the hell knows! There are lots of scenes like that one on this movie, things happening and you have no idea why they happened. One scene has this bathroom towel catchning fire, and you end up thinking damn, the little kids are going to be burned alive! But the scene goes nowhere! We never even get to know what happened to the towel that caught fire! I was like “that’s just like a 70s Italian horror movie!”

But amongst the bull crap and the boring conversations there are some cool moments. There’s this cool scene in which all the toys inside of the kids room come to life. And the room trembles and shakes as if there was an earthquake going on…pretty cool moment. There’s lots of supernatural shenanigans going on through out the whole movie. As I watched this film, I kind of got the vibe that it might have partially influenced Spielberg to make Poltergeist, because there are a lot of moments in this film that are extremely similar to Poltergeist. Especially in that scene with the toys coming to life inside of the room. Only Spielberg had the money to do it better. And Tobe Hooper to direct it. But Im just inferring that. Could very well be what happened though.

There’s another moment in that very scene with the kids alone in the room which was sooo similar to another scene in The Amytiville Horror. It’s a scene where a little kid is talking with the invisible demon, and apparently the demon is sitting in the rocking chair and we see the rocking chair swinging back and forth. There’s a scene just like that one in The Amityville Horrror which was released just a few years after! So even though this movie was a blatant rip off of  The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby on itself, it could have actually influenced a couple of american horror films. Even another one of the great american horror films might have been influenced by this one: The Omen. There’s many scenes similar to The Omen as well, and as I watched it I was thinking to myself, wow this movie ripped off more movies then I thought! But then, upon doing some research I realize that most of the movies I thought this film was ripping off were actually released years AFTER this one! So this movie might have been more influential than I had originally thought.

Like I said, if you can stand some of the more boring moments, you’ll eventually get to the good stuff which is really whenever they turn the focus of the film on the possessed mother to be. Those are really the best moments. Juliet Mills plays Jessica, the possessed mom. She out does herself in some of the possession sequences where she floats around the room, and she’s about to give birth to the demon baby. That was such an original moment for me, the one truly awesome moment in the film. Unfortunately its all the way in the last 20 minutes of the movie. The flick is filled with cool sequences, not nearly as awesome as The Exorcist, but almost there. Yeah it rips off that film, but it does it so well! So I salute this movie only for that, cause it did a rip off, it knew it, but they did it well. Still, anyway you look at it, it’s a cheap version of William Friedkin’s awesome horror masterpiece.

I recommend you see this movie only out of curiosity. This movie came out in a time where religious themed horror films where the talk of the town and everyone was scared of demons and Satan and all that hoopla. Hence so many movies with similar subject matter during this decade. Examples of this are The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen, Abby. And for everyone of these American films, there was a cheap Italian version to follow. Don’t believe me check out these other films: House of Exorcism, L’Anticristo, Holocaust 2000 and so forth. This film is good to watch, only to see what other films it might have influenced, and for the supernatural sequences, everything else is pretty dull and uneventful.

Rating: 2 ½ out of  5